I'm back!

I've removed myself from Facebook, for now.

I was wasting too much time on it, and it wasn't adding much value to my life. I'll probably peek at it from time to time to check up on friends and family. I just had to give it up right now, for me.

I started journaling at the age of 14 on my mission trip to Africa because they forced us to spend an hour of quiet time each morning praying, reflecting, and journaling. As you can imagine, 60 days of this requirement created a new habit in me... which lasted until this passed year, for more than 10 years. I stopped journaling on my deployment and I'm not sure how it happened, or why. Is it because I started my deployment blog which took the place of my journal? Did I feel like it became pointless? I don't know. What I do know is that I miss it. I miss telling my story. I wrote in my journals with the intention of sharing them with my daughter someday, maybe, or someone. Don't get me wrong, I had no reserves, I told the whole truth, nothing but the truth. It was the one place in my life I never had to lie. I think the desire to journal came from wanting to tell my story, but also as a way of opening myself up to God in a way that was tangible. By writing it down, it made it real and I could then reflect on what I had written and become open to conviction.

When Sarah first suggested to me to start blogging [again], my immediate thought was "no way, I'm not one of those people who needs to document every piece of their personal life for the entertainment of others." But then I thought, whats the difference between blogging and writing an autobiography? Yet one is regarded as much more prestigous. I don't have the time to spend writing my entire life story and publishing it in one document, but I do have time to share little pieces of me mixed of past present and future, a living document. I don't really care if you care, I mean, I do, but I don't. ;) I hope someone might get something of value from something I say at some point. But, if you aren't interested in reading about my somewhat boring life, I'm not offended and totally understand. I'm one that tries to spend my time wisely and unfortunately very few books and people can hold my attention (something I'm working on).

To catch you up to speed (and me!), here's where I am now:
My wife Sarah Clapp and I are en route from Tacoma, WA to New Orleans, LA. I will be a US Army Recruiter, primarily recruiting medical professionals. I'm currently residing in San Antonio, TX with Sarah Lyons, her husband Drew, and her son Andy. I'm attending Captains Career Course, a 9 week course, that prepared Captains for command and leadership. Sarah takes of Andy everyday as a sort of repayement for free rent. Since the budget cuts, resident CCC might be going away entirely, so I feel very lucky to have gotten in to this course. I feel my like my whole career has been this way. I've just gotten to know the right people, and been at the right place and the right time. I'm ahead of my peers for no obvious reason that I can see. I'm not smarter or more "hooah" or quick or super hard working. I have pretty average skills, but with good intuition, the ability to self-reflect and a genuine heart for those I feel responsible for taking care of. I've had more than a couple of people tell me that they see me being a General someday. Other than the rediculous name General Clapp, I'm pretty excited about that possibility despite the unlikeliness of it.

Marrying Sarah has been the best decison I've ever made. My life has never been so peaceful. There is so much that I don't have to worry about anymore, that consumed my time and energy. I look forward to coming home and hanging out with her. No matter where I am or what I'm doing, as long as I'm with her, I'm happy, I'm secure, life is good. We talk everyday, we give eachother honest advice and feedback. We communicate through disagreements and rarely have a full blown fights, and if we do, its usually because my inner child gets the best of me. Its so nice to be married to an adult that is equally willing to work through problems, self-improve, and see things from a different perspective. Sarah keeps me grounded. Although her cautious approach to everything annoys the shit out of me sometimes, its a good balance for us. She's the planner, the realist, the thinker. I'm the doer, the idealist, the experiencer. You should hear our conversations sometimes... pretty entertaining. Sex has been challenging...

omg, she's going to talk about sex, omg.

Every relationship that I know of deals with this issue on some level, even l-e-s-b-i-a-n-s. I don't really have anyone to talk to about my sex life because most of my friends are straight and, well its just awkward for them, so I will blog about it. Let me start off by saying that sex with a woman is totally fulfilling. Scratch that, sex with Sarah is completely fulfilling, miles more than anyone I've been with (just for the record). Without going in to too much detail... there's always someone in the relationship that wants more of it... and thats me. We're working on it, she's beginning to understand how important it is to me, on many levels, and she's becoming more willing to open back up to me and trust me fully. Ok, thats enough about that for today.

Maybe we will end on that note. I'm sleepy and have mandatory PT in the morning, I should get to bed. And I've been on the computer for awhile now, so Sarah probably wants me to hang out with her eventually. :) I just looked back to tell Sarah I'm almost done on here and found that she has packed my bag for the gym tomorrow with my uniform and everything I need for a shower. She is so awesome.

Anyway, welcome to my personal life.